Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
