3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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