I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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