his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
