you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
