Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I'm passing your future prison.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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