I need to stop coming to work sober
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
