Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
