I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
