You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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