i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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