you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Randomize
