I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
