you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
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