you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
