he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Randomize
