Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize