i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
