hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
