Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
