he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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