HIV tests are more positive than that guy
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
