let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
