Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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