Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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