And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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