I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is the high leading the old right now
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Randomize
