i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Randomize
