he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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