"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
