Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
