Where did you get a picture of my penis
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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