just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
