it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
Randomize
