your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
she peed on how many people?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
