ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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