conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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