just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
