I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
