"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
It's never too late to be topless.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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