grandma shit on top of the toilet
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
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