I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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