New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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