we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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