the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
