I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
