doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
