she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
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