When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
