She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
