I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
