so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
