idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
